Another day and the idea of losing Amanda still hurts. Idk when it will fade but I feel like I've been gut punched. My kids haven't been sleeping either so dealing with both is tough. But I focus on them and I will get through this.
Today I got rid of poison in my life by telling the truth. My truth. I understand what I said was hard and mean but true none the less. Morgan my love supported me and gave me space to get my head straight. She's a good mother. Not perfect but who is we do our best. I have 2 kids who where happy and smiling the whole time I was hurting. It helped just to see them smile
Had a great day with my family. Kids were loud all day but I was able to keep my head. Got a cool lid from the aquarium from Morgan. My brother is wanting a 55 gallon tank I'm excited about it cause it brings us together more. I'm trusting Morgan more and I'm trying to tell her how I feel not what she did wrong if we have any problems and I did today
Mercys first birthday. She's such a happy little chunky girl. Woke up irritated and tired again. Can't seem to get Amanda out of my head. Fuck the others. They're nothing to me but the abusive pieces of shit. But as soon as I stand up for myself at 31 I'm a bad guy and she's done with me. She doesn't understand but why can't she respect my view and right to feel how I feel.